Post: Learn how to accept constructive criticism

Constructive Criticism

One of the first things to come to terms with as a writer is to acknowledge and accept that not everyone is going to like what you write. In fact, some people might hate it. It’s okay. Remember that especially on social media, people love to talk about things they hate. Does it really matter if someone doesn’t like your story if he or she is sharing it far and wide, even if it’s to complain about it? 

It’s only natural, however, for writers to want to please their readers. When you write something and people love it, it makes you happy. To be successful, you must learn to pay attention to both sides of the coin. Enjoy the appreciation some readers offer. And learn from the criticism that others provide. Constructive criticism is not an insult; it’s valuable feedback. It can help you become a better writer. 

Take it in, but keep it in your heart until later

Human beings often have a tendency for “knee-jerk” reactions. When someone criticizes us, our defenses automatically flare up and, often times, engage. If you want to learn how to accept constructive criticism gracefully, the first thing to keep in mind is to resist giving an immediate reaction or response. 

Instead, listen quietly and thank the person for his or her input, then let it go at that, at least, for the moment. Sometime later, when you’re alone and have time to truly ponder what was said, you can begin to peel back the layers and learn from them. 

Remember that there’s always room for improvement

As with most skills and talents, there’s always room for improvement in writing. Have you ever read something you wrote five or 10 years ago? Did you shudder or laugh? Chances are, your writing has greatly improved since then. Understanding that you always have room to grow can help you learn to accept constructive criticism in a productive and gracious manner. 

Consider asking questions to deconstruct the feedback

After you’ve had time to think about the constructive criticism that was offered to you, you might want to re-open the conversation. This provides an opportunity for you to ask relevant questions. For instance, if the person giving feedback said they found your story boring, you might ask for clarification. Exactly which parts were most boring? Does the person have any suggestions for what might have helped make that particular section of your story more interesting or entertaining? 

Be thankful for all audience engagement

Whether it was a family member, friend or stranger who provided constructive criticism about your writing, remember that all feedback is valuable to a writer. Positive comments let you know that you’re on the right track. Criticism can be a catalyst for improvement. Either way, if people are wanting to talk to you about your writing, it’s a conversation that you should always welcome!